Cloud and Townsend, Boundaries Face to Face

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Henry Cloud and John Townsend, How to Have That Difficult Conversation You’ve Been Avoiding: With Your Spouse, Adult Child, Boss, Coworker, Best Friend, Parent, or Someone You’re Dating. Zondervan, 2005.

Referenced in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations

LifeandLeadership.com Summary

From the authors of the million-copy bestseller, Boundaries. This is a very sensitive, well-written volume on how to have a direct conversation, or “boundary conversation” with a person with a person with whom we have problems. It is a repackaging of an earlier volume, Boundaries Face to Face. The authors say:

Most people know they need to set boundaries with someone or have a difficult conversation with someone, but few know how to do it well. Some are so afraid, they never try; others try and fail dismally; still others do it in a way that does more harm than good. For that reason, people put off confronting, setting boundaries, or “facing into” difficult conversations. As a result, their relationships suffer.

Cloud and Townsend suggest 12 essentials of a good conversation and then trouble shoot on how it’s actually done. They talk about how to prepare yourself and your words for these conversations, and give specific guidelines on talking with those who are special to us such as spouses, dating partners, children, parents, adult children, work associates, and those in authority.

From the Publisher

A practical handbook on positive confrontation, now available in softcover with a discussion guide Successful people confront well. They know that setting healthy boundaries improves relationships and can solve important problems. They have discovered that uncomfortable situations can be avoided or resolved through direct conversation. But most of us don’t know how to have difficult conversations, and see confrontation as scary or adversarial. Authors Henry Cloud and John Townsend take the principles from their bestselling book, Boundaries, and apply them to a variety of the most common difficult situations and relationships in order to:

  • Show how healthy confrontation can improve relationships
  • Present the essentials of a good boundary-setting conversation
  • Provide tips on preparing for the conversation
  • Show how to tell people what you want, stop bad behavior, and deal with counterattack

The authors give actual examples of conversations to have with your spouse, your date, your kids, your coworker, your parents, and more!

About the Author

Dr. Henry Cloud is a popular speaker, and cohost, with Dr. John Townsend, of the nationally broadcast New Life Live! Radio program, and cofounder of Cloud-Townsend Clinic and Cloud-Townsend Resources. His bestselling books include the Gold Medallion Award-winning Boundaries books and Making Small Groups Work. Dr. Cloud and his wife and two daughters live in Southern California. Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend are popular speakers, and cohosts of the nationally broadcast New Life Live! Radio program, and cofounders of Cloud-Townsend Clinic and Cloud-Townsend Resources. Their best-selling books include the Gold Medallion Award-winning Boundaries.


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