Koch and Haugk, Speaking the Truth in Love

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Ruth N. Koch and Kenneth C. Haugk, Speaking the Truth in Love: How to be an Assertive Christian. Stephen Ministries, 1992.

Referenced in: Church Conflict – Criticism, Difficult People, Difficult Conversations

LifeandLeadership.com Summary

I have used this in classes as an excellent base-leve “how-to” guide on assertion. The authors define the difference between passive, aggressive, and assertive postures, and put assertiveness in a Christian framework. Next, they discuss when to be assertive and what to say. Part four is a very helpful guide on the occasions for assertiveness such as making requests; granting, refusing, or negotiating requests; offering and receiving criticism; expressing or receiving anger; offering or receiving compliments and appreciation; and expressing and receiving affection.

From the Publisher

Being Christian and being assertive are not mutually exclusive. Principles in this book will help Christians learn to communicate with others in a confident, assertive, Christ-like fashion. Assertiveness is presented in a distinctively Christian manner focusing particularly on the way Jesus related to others. Readers are taught to recognize the difference between passive, aggressive, and assertive responses, and are encouraged to be honest, direct, open, and natural in their relationships with others. A Biblically-based book that incorporates the soundest principles of psychology.

About the Author

Kenneth C. Haugk, Ph.D., pastor and clinical psychologist, is founder of the Stephen Series system of lay caring ministry. He is executive director of Stephen Ministries, a transdenominational organization based in St. Louis, Missouri. Dr Haugk is the author of the best-selling book Christian Caregiving—A Way of Life, and is an active speaker and consultant on such topics as spiritual gifts, inactive member ministry, and church and business antagonism.

Ruth Koch is a mental health educator and certified by the National Board of Certified Counselors. Trained in both social work and counseling, she teaches about everyday mental health issues impacting personal and family relations. For more than 40 years, Koch has conducted workshops and classes for individuals looking for practical coping strategies for the problems of the Christian life. An author, speaker and consultant, Koch is the author of Prepare to Serve! — the Lutheran Women’s Missionary League’s video study series on various mental health issues and leadership. She designed the family conflict and healthy boundaries materials for Lutheran Hour Ministries and co-authored Stephen Ministries’ Speaking the Truth in Love: How to Be An Assertive Christian. She is a frequent contributor to the LWML Quarterly and a weekly guest on KFUO-AM’s Morning Show.


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