Neff, A Pastor’s Guide to Interpersonal Communication

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Blake Neff, A Pastor’s Guide to Interpersonal Communication: The Other Six Days (Haworth Series in Chaplaincy). Routledge, 2006.

Referenced in: Leadership Development Through Relational Competence

LifeandLeadership.com Summary

This is perhaps the best introduction available of standard and advanced level communication skills for those in spiritual leadership positions. It is designed for use in college and seminary level training. It is the same genre as an older volume by Lawyer and Katz, Communication Skills for Ministry, which is very difficult to find. It may be regarded as the only accessible volume of its kind. It is academically responsible, professionally credible, and practically useful. It is comprehensive in the sense that it covers most conceivable areas where communication skills are important for pastoral functioning. Yet it is indeed introductory, and most readers will want a great deal more than Neff offers on various subjects. I highly recommend it and use it in my classes at Johnson University. See the Publisher’s Description below for a content summary.

From the Publisher

This book examines a variety of essential topics, including perception, self-disclosure, verbal and nonverbal messages, listening, stages of relational development, power assertiveness and dominance, conflict management, forgiveness, persuasion, dual relationships, pastoral family communication, and how to develop a communications model.

Each chapter includes “Pastoral Conversations,” real-life dialogues presented for analysis; “Key Concepts” for quick student review; “Meanings Mania,” self-tests on vocabulary; and “Unleashing the Power of Interpersonal Communication,” student exercises that reinforce the practical aspects of key principles.

While many pastors have a great love for the people they minister to, they have difficulty demonstrating that love because they lack the skills to develop and maintain relationships. A Pastor’s Guide to Interpersonal Communication: The Other Six Days explores how communication works and how to make it work for you, applying the best available interpersonal communications techniques to your relationships with the real people of the church—your parishioners.

A Pastor’s Guide to Interpersonal Communication: The Other Six Days examines:

  1. How self-disclosure works and when it’s appropriate for a pastor
  2. Stumbling blocks and building blocks for effective listening
  3. The differences between power, assertiveness, and dominance and when to use each
  4. Conflict management styles and negotiation strategies
  5. Several myths about forgiveness
  6. Dual relationships and how to avoid them
  7. Pitfalls to avoid in pastoral family communication

A Pastor’s Guide to Interpersonal Communication: The Other Six Days is an essential resource for Bible college students and for students at the pre-ministerial and seminary levels. It’s also a valuable professional tool for clergy practitioners who need help with their communication skills.

About the Author

Blake J. Neff is Visiting Professor of Communication at Indiana Wesleyan University and Pastor of the Van Buren United Methodist Church. He is the author of A Pastor’s Guide To Interpersonal Communication (Haworth, 2006) and coauthor with Donald Ratcliff of The Complete Handbook of Religious Education Volunteers (Religious Education, 1993). He and Ratcliff also edited Handbook of Family Religious Education (Religious Education, 1995). In addition to preaching, Dr. Neff has taught public speaking for twenty years at a variety of Christian colleges and universities. He and his wife, Nancy, have three adult children. The couple currently resides in Van Buren, Indiana.


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