Emotional Systems, Roberta Gilbert

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Resources on Churches as Emotional Systems by Roberta Gilbert

Referenced in: Leadership and Emotional Systems, Self-Differentiation

LifeandLeadership.com Summary

Robert Gilbert, M.D., Director of the Center for the Study of Human Systems, and faculty member of the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family at Georgetown, is a recognized authority on Bowen family systems theory and its applications to individuals, families and organizations. She has written several books that while not focused on church leadership, still serve as excellent “next step” readings for those who are already familiar with volumes by Steinke, Friedman, Richardson, Herrington, Galindo, and Marcuson (see these and others in the resource guide on Emotional Systems). Below is a list of her more applicable volumes, each followed by the Publisher’s Description:

The Cornerstone Concept: In Leadership, In Life (Leading Systems Press, 2008) – Dr. Bowen often referred to the concept of differentiation of self as the “cornerstone” concept. It describes the variation in nature, especially human nature, and it shows us a way to do better with what we have inherited – both genetically and in the emotional process of the generations—from our families. It is a cornerstone for thinking about and accomplishing better functioning in any individual life. An anchor text for Extraordinary Leadership Seminar, The Cornerstone Concept addresses many issues crucial to leadership in today’s organizations and indeed, in all of society. These include:

  • What is differentiation of self? Why is it important?
  • How does one advance up the scale?
  • What are guiding principles and how do we get them?
  • Why is it important to work on one’s family relationships?
  • What is meant by “taking a stand?”
  • Can a leader help a floundering society to “pull up?”

Extraordinary Leadership: Thinking Systems, Making a Difference (Leading Systems Press, 2006) – Today’s leaders face increased individual and societal anxiety that affects all their organizations. Unfortunately, their training has not provided them with any understanding or guidelines that show how to manage themselves in the emotional chaos and anxiety intensities.

Bowen family systems theory provides the needed understanding. It has proven itself amazingly effective, not only in families, but also in non-family groups: businesses, institutions and congregations.

Extraordinary Leadership examines organizations as emotional systems through the lens of Bowen theory. This Bowen theory approach has demonstrated extraordinary success over the past seven years in Extraordinary Leadership Seminars for clergy. The types of questions addressed include:

  • What is an emotional system?
  • How do leaders handle themselves in stirred up organizations?
  • What is high level leadership?… low level leadership?
  • How does one’s family enter into the equation?
  • How does one become a high level leader?
  • Do organizations need principles?
  • What about difficult people?
  • What is a relationship master?

The Eight Concepts of Bowen Theory: A New Way of Thinking of the Individual and the Group (Leading Systems Press, 2006) – Bowen Theory is a new way of thinking about human interaction. It is a lens that clarifies the emotional side of families, organizations, and even society itself. It has given thousands of individuals and families a blueprint for improving their relationships, stabilizing their families and reaching their long term goals. Knowledge about human relationships and groups is probably the most desperate need of today’s world. Clinically, Bowen theory has shown its usefulness over and over again. Is it as effective in organizations – businesses, universities, and congregations – as it has been in families? Professionals, executives, and clergy are responding with a resounding affirmative. They are finding, as have their coaches, that relationship patterns, maturity, immaturity, and the effects of anxiety can be found in any group of people that spends time together.

They are also learning that they themselves are an important key to what happens in the system. Their leadership relationships (like those of parents) set the emotional tone for the organization. Like parents in a high functioning family, they see the value of their calm connections within their organizations as well as in their own families. Bowen theory enables them to truly “be the best they can be” and significantly increase their leadership performance in both small and large groups.

Extraordinary Relationships: A New Way of Thinking About Human Interactions (John Wiley, 1992) – Turn any relationship into an Extraordinary Relationship. After food, water, and shelter, relationships are the most important factors in determining one’s quality of life. At work, productivity and efficiency depend on relationships. At home, relationships with one’s spouse, children, and friends are keys to success and happiness. And among nations, relationships start and stop wars. This invaluable guide shows that only by further developing oneself can one further develop relationships. Based on the innovative family systems theory pioneered by the late Dr. Murray Bowen, this important and penetrating book offers practical and authoritative family therapy advice that has helped thousands of people throughout the last three decades. It’s a blueprint to better relationships that explains how the principles of family systems theory can be used in all arenas of life, including intimate relationships, friendships, family relationships, single life, workplace relationships, international relationships, and one’s relationship with self.

The Cornerstone Concept will be of enormous value to leaders immersed in disturbed family situations, complex and chaotic organizations, and societal regression. It takes its place with Extraordinary Leadership: Thinking Systems, Making a Difference and The Eight Concepts of Bowen Theory, to complete a trio of leadership texts.

About the Author

Dr. Roberta Gilbert is a practicing psychiatrist whose main interest is emotional processes in the family and in organizations. She first studied the family in a Post Graduate Program at the Menninger Clinic. Subsequently, she studied with Dr. Bowen and became a faculty member at the Georgetown Family Center, now the Bowen Center for the Study of the Family, where she continues to teach.

Dr. Gilbert maintains a practice in Falls Church, VA. She is the founding director of the Center for the Study for Human Systems, where she developed and now directs “Extraordinary Leadership Seminars.” In addition to “The Eight Concepts of Bowen Theory,” she is the author of “Extraordinary Relationships: A New Way of Thinking About Human Interactions” and “Connecting with our Children: Guiding Principles for Parents in a Troubled World,” both published by John Wiley & Sons, 1992 and 1999. Dr. Gilbert is frequently called upon to speak at special events and conferences.


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